You followed “The Plan” Got married in the temple, started a family, but now your spouse says “I can’t continue on in the church”
What’s next?
How do you cope?
Hear one couples success story.
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You followed “The Plan” Got married in the temple, started a family, but now your spouse says “I can’t continue on in the church”
What’s next?
How do you cope?
Hear one couples success story.
Podcast: Play in new window | Download
Subscribe: RSS
Wonderful that they would be willing to share their experience. I identify with Mark’s journey. I’ve had quite a similar transition, but I couldn’t imagine living through that while married and with children. Good luck to them. Thanks, Richie, for bringing this to the podcast
Love the podcast. You were discussing how resistant people can get around the topic of change. I try to reassure my clients that the focus of therapy is on improving. And by improving they will have a greater marriage, family, and happiness. If I can help them see the results they want, the effort of changing doesn’t seem so hard.
Also, it seems that most men are biologically wired to take it personal if we think that someone else, especially a loved one, thinks in the most minor of ways, that we have done something wrong. As soon as we think that we get defensive. The key is to recognize this and be ready for it. They are not attacking us, they don’t think we are worthless, and they do appreciate all we do for them, even if they do ask us to do a little more.
I love when you basically say, “Guess what Mark, life’s tough.” You play it off as light and facetious, but I wanted to yell that same thing at my iPhone.
I am sure there is more to his loss of Faith than that, but that was kind of the message I was getting. My life experience mirrors a lot of his. It is an interesting thing that we each reacted differently. I hope that things work out for them.
Do you have a link to the blog post that’s mentioned a few times in the podcast?
Life is tough, but I can empathize, even though I don’t agree with the outcome. I had a similar loss of faith with respect to the death of my eldest son from cancer, and the aftermath among my family and friends. It’s the worst feeling in the world to think that God has abandoned us all, if there even is a God. And my heart goes out to anyone that goes down that path, becasue I’ve been there.
I think it’s great the guest still goes to church and supports his wife, rather than turning into the Penn Gillette brand of atheist. By remaining open-minded like that, there is still hope yet that he can regain faith. That’s one thing that helped me.
There’s a great article taken from a talk by Elder Oaks in the current Ensign that parallels the issues discussed in the podcast. He talks about not seeing miracles and not getting solid, one-and-done answers to difficult questions. It has a lot of the same ideas I had to learn–not accept, learn– to help me through my trials. I think living in Utah we hear so many faith-promoting stories–or hear one faith-promoting story many many times–that we begin to see it as a mark of worthiness to recieve an experience contained in those stories. That’s what I had to get past to see things more clearly.
I recently listened to this podcast. I have to say that although I don’t agree with the husband (As I’m old, I have already forgotten his name), but I respect him for his attitude. In my life time, I have run into too many folks who leave the church for one reason or another and then want to drag as many of their friends and neighbors away with them. It’s like they don’t have the courage to strike out on their own. As a retired Cop, I used to tell people that even if you don’t agree with the spiritual aspect, there is no better environment to live in and raise your family. Too many people are just lugging around a bucket full of hate for one reason or another. Let it go and get on with living.
My best to your guests in this episode and may they accomplish all that they want to, in this life.
Great discussion, very nice couple.
There are more people in their situation than they could imagine…
Great podcast. As someone in a similar situation I appreciated there story. It reminds me that I am not alone and helps me confirm my decisions.
I admire the husband and how he supports his wife. Since he has made a firm decision he isn’t ‘scared’ of the church or church people and can still support her in her life.
Great example on how to hold your marriage together when one leaves the faith. They both seem to have a great deal of respect for each other and great communication.
Does someone have the link to his blog that was mentioned in the podcast?