We are all taught that it is a sin to have sex before you are married because of the obvious issues it can create. But what happens if you do and you find yourself pregnant and a Mormon? This is something that I was faced with and have struggled with how girls are treated that also face this hardship.
When I found myself in this situation I was scared, terrified, ashamed, and felt like I let everyone down. My family was active but I was inactive at the time, my extended family held a stake president, a mission president, and temple marriages. What on earth would they think of me? How would they treat me and my child?
Once my daughter was born I went back to work and purposely worked on Sunday’s. Therefore, my mom had to take my child to church with her every week. When this happened to another girl in the ward, her mother told my mom that it was her example of unconditional love, nurturing, and acceptance that made people in the ward think twice about how the stigma of having a child out of wedlock affects a family.
However, there is also the other experience some go through. Growing up there was a girl in my ward who got pregnant in high school. She was the last person you would have thought that this would happen to. Her family decided to home school her, hide her away from the world and what had happened to her, and she gave her child up for adoption. To this day, the family doesn’t talk about it, address it or acknowledge that it happened and that is heartbreaking to me.
Things happen. Sometimes they aren’t the way you envision them for you, your kids or your family, but it’s your reaction to the situation that can make or break everything.
When I chose to go back to church after being inactive for over a decade and repenting for things that I had done, I still to this day cannot repent for breaking the law of chastity. To me that would mean that I am sorry for what I had done and the result of that sin, and that is not something that I will ever do. I have never looked at my child and thought of her as a mistake. She, just like everyone else, is a child of a loving, forgiving Heavenly Father.
I am not asking for the church to change its views completely on this issue, I would like to see the stigma removed and maybe it has to a certain degree, I’m not sure. Accepting your loved ones for their faults or the decisions/ choices they make doesn’t mean you condone or agree with the path they have chosen to follow, it means that you accept them for being human and loving them unconditionally.
~Guest Blogger Jen