Nicole Hardy’s forthcoming memoir, Confessions of a Latter-day Virgin, was inspired by her essay “Single, Female, Mormon, Alone”, first published in The New York Times and chosen as “notable” in 2012’s Best American Essays. In this book, Nicole explores how she came, at the age of thirty-five, to a crossroads between her faith and her identity.
During her childhood and throughout her twenties, Nicole held absolute conviction in her Mormon faith. But as she aged out of the Church’s “singles ward” and entered her thirties, she struggled to merge the life she envisioned for herself with the prescribed roles of homemaker, wife, and mother.
Confessions of a Latter-day Virgin chronicles the extraordinary lengths Nicole went to in an attempt to reconcile her human needs with her spiritual life—flying across the country for dates with Mormon men, taking up salsa dancing as a source for physical contact, even moving to the island of Grand Cayman, where the ocean and scuba diving provided some solace. But neither secular pursuits nor church guidance could help Nicole prepare for the dilemma she would eventually face: a crisis of faith that caused her to question everything she’d grown up believing.
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Loved this episode. I haven’t left the church (yet…though I often wonder why I still go), but most of what she said in this podcast has been my experience as well. So glad that voices like hers are starting to be heard.
The part I most identify with is when she talks about not knowing if she wanted kids and how that is still very Taboo in the church. It makes dating really hard and it also makes a woman feel a lot of shame, like there must be something wrong with me if I don’t have the inclination to have kids.
Thanks for the ribbing about Mormon men only wanting stupid women. I take offense when I hear this. I’m sure her issues go deeper than that, but “I’m not married because I’m an independent woman” is a cliche and a thing that must go.
I’ll read this book because stories of people leaving the church fascinate me. However, I hope it goes deeper than, “Well, I was raised mormon, and I liked it okay I guess, especially (insert buzzwords), but when I got older I got tired of living the way I was raised.” That’s the impression I got from the podcast. Elna Baker’s story is very similar to this. As in, you could post Elna’s interview on Radio West last year next to this and aside from the subject’s age it’s almost identical, including coming out to her parents.
I just hope there’s more exploration of faith and religious practice in the book rather than a story about a child becoming an adult and making adult decisions about their life that differ from how they were raised. Because we all do that. At least, those of us who don’t live with our parents.
Thank you for an excellent interview.
This isn’t a podcast about sex but about life choices that a intelligent thinking adult made. Its not fun to hear because I’m old enough to see the effects of such choices and they aren’t pretty. It reminds me of a presentation a guy made about time shares and how bad an investment they are/were (this was 1981.) The guy discussed all the bad aspects of them and bought one! Full price! And he fully understood the ramifications of the decisions! In the end people make choices, its up to us parents to point out good choices and bad choices to our kids.
Also, where were teachers this attractive when I was in junior high?
Nice perspective on singles and how that plays out in a family church.Nothing said about the book as the podcast cut off,but from the interview I get the picture,I guess.Interview needed less background for me but some I see loved that.