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Sarah Begley

     I joined the Army when I was 18 while I was struggling with the desire to gain my own testimony. I had yet to decide how strong my testimony was and if my belief in the church stemmed from the strength of my parents’ testimonies or from my own true belief in the gospel. I went to basic training the summer of 2004 and six weeks after graduation I received orders to deploy to Iraq that winter. When I was 19, I did not know anything of the world and was thrust into a combat situation that would forever change my life. There is a saying that everyone finds God in a foxhole and it is true that anyone who has ever been to war has to make a decision: is there really a God? While I was in Iraq, I watched a comrade die on the side of the road after his truck was hit by a roadside bomb; this incident did not stop my praying but made me seriously question if these prayers were being heard. It just wasn’t fair that a 21 year old husband and father could die like that. It simultaneously destroyed and strengthened me. When I returned home from this deployment, I did what many struggling, young Veterans do: I drank. I reached very dark times struggling to cope with my post deployment stress. I was dealing with an issue society had yet to recognize and I felt as though I was the only one struggling to truly return from Iraq. My daughter was born three years after my deployment and I was slapped with the realization that her salvation was now my responsibility.

I returned to church without question and worked very hard to strengthen the testimony that I had let fall to the wayside. As I returned to the truth of the gospel, I realized something very important. I realized that even in my darkest times, Christ had been my light. He did not abandon me in my youth, He had not abandoned me or my unit in Iraq, and He will not abandon me in the future. Regardless of the strength of my testimony, His love never wavered. What a blessing my husband and I have that we are Latter-Day Saints in the military. There is strength in knowing that no matter how dark it may get or how hurt we may be, Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ will always be our guiding light and comfort.

Sarah Begley

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