I wish you all could know, love and adore Susan Messing like I, Richie T, do. She is an amazing, talented, funny, honest and warm-hearted woman who happens to know a lot of stuff about the Mormons. I met Susan whilst I was changing my life in Chicago in the Summer of the 2009 (See Episode 54 of The Cultural Hall for further Explanation)

Here is a lil info about who Susan is-

Susan Messing is an American director, actress, comedian, author, and teacher living in Chicago. She is best known for her ensemble work at The Annoyance Theater and iO Theater as well as being regarded as one of the forefront teachers of improvisational comedy.

~The Cultural Hall

Articles of News

Southern California Mormon Prom (Read Story)
Trees cut at the temple (Read Story)

Happy Mother’s Day yesterday!  It was so good to see you yesterday, Mom and Dad!  You two look so happy.  Thanks for telling me not to come home!  I felt inspired to work hard so the Lord will send more blessings your way.

What an overwhelming email I have to send! Haha!  There has been a million and 5 miracles and I don’t even know where to start…

We had a SUPRISE ALL MISSION CONFERENCE LAST SATURDAY!!!!!!! ALL 235 of us gathered to gether to be apart of a powerful meeting and receive instruction from Elder Neil L. Andersen of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles, Elder L. Whitney Clayton of the Presidency of the Seventy, Elder Edward Dube of the First Quorum of the Seventy and with Elder Michael J. Reall of the Seventy!!!!!!!!!!!!!  I think they all came because we are about to get a new mission president.  To shake the hand of an Apostle of the Lord and then be taught by him was a treasured experience.  I immediately started crying when I saw them all, and when they walked into the room, everything was so intense.  The spirit there was definitely gentle and something to share with your posterity!

Elder Anderson instructed us to put our lives and trust in the Lord as HE knows the end from the beginning.  He knows us better than we know ourselves.  He quoted PMG p 2 and said that as our understanding of the Atonement of Jesus Christ grows, our desire to share the gospel will increase.  We will become seers of the unseen.  He talked of the merits of Christ being what brought about the Resurrection, His mercy being his love and forgiveness for each of us… (We need to experience it then teach it) and His grace which is the enabling power of the Atonement to do what we cannot do for ourselves.   Don’t be afraid to help someone repent and TESTIFY OF THE REALITY OF JESUS CHRIST.

He was actually really really funny!!  I’m so suprised actually.  They had all of these super comfy chairs set up for the 4 of them to sit on, on a high stage.  and he pointed to them and said, “What’s this?  Please let us sit in the normal chairs!” He asked ME to read something on the Power Point about the atonement.  So I stood up, grabbed the microphone, and started talking in my high pitched voice.  He said, “Now wait…I can tell you are a very cheery person, but I want you to read it….tone your voice a little bit…”  Everyone laughed a little and I tried so hard to have a low voice and be solomn.  He is so nice…. So are the others!  I will always always always remember them.  Ah!  Elder Dube is from Zimbabwe and everyone from Des Moines loves him so much too because there are a ton of black converts.

Now I’ll go back to what happened with our investigators this week….

Alyssa and Christian….WOW!!  I DON’T THINK I CAN HAVE COOLER INVESTIGATORS!!!  We met them playing guitar outside of main street.  I said, “Hey do you know any gospel songs?!  You sound sooo good!”  And that got us talking.  We’ve had 3 lessons with them already and they want to be baptised in May.  It will be a miracle if they can get themselves in line with the commandments by then, but we’ll see!   Christian is almost 16 and he told us how he was into drugs and thought everything was lost.  He had no one to turn to.  So he grabbed a Bible and started reading.  He bore THE MOST SINCERE AND SWEET testimony I’ve ever heard from a young man.  Sister Cannon and I just cried!  And this lesson was outside…He had no shame to bare his testimony AND PRAY!!  his prayer was so cute.  And Alyssa tried out for America’s Got Talent and just overcame cancer!  Seriously…amazing people!  We’ve read Alma 36 that talked about Alma the younger’s path back to Jesus Christ and they really related to it and totally loved it.  I look forward to seeing them like EVERYDAY!!!

Norma!!  She’s about 70 years old and has the most pure heart I’ve ever known.Sh’es never been married, and lets us work out in her yard.  She had sooo many questions about church.  Sister Jergensen came on an exchange with us this week and talked about it in her talk at the mission conference.  She said when we come to her house, Something else leaves with us… and she never wants that feeling to go away.  We explained that it wasn’t us at all, but the Holy Ghost, and she can have the feeling with her that will never leave if she gets baptised.   It was a neat night! But she called us the next night and said she’s not sure if she wants to study with us anymore because she feels guilty from things in the past.  We will keep serving her and see if we can change her mind! Haha

Moises!  We met him at the TULIP FESTIVAL.  We started offering people in the booths if we could help set up and take down.  This man started asking us what our nametags were and we told him a little about the Mormons.  Then we offered him a Book of Mormon and he said he only reads in Spanish…  GUESS WHAT??!  WE JUST HAPPENED TO HAVE ONE SPANISH BOOK OF MORMON AT HOME!!! SO WE WENT AND GOT IT.  He asked sooo many questions to me in spanish!  Haha I tried my very best to speak in spanish but I probablly sounded terrible.  Somethings went really well, but some words he just flat out laughed at!! haha I think I was trying to explain the spirit world and I said, “El Mundu de Espirotos” and he about started crying from laughter…I wonder if what I said… hahahaha! Then he wanted to know why we were happy, and what made us happy.  We told him the gospel and the teachings from that book.  He totally wants to learn more, and begged for missionaries! He started reading the book immediately and said, “I’ve been waiting so long!” We found out he lives in Chicago…and my best friend is serving there…spanish speaking!! SO i’m praying that she will get to teach him.  We got his address and #.

There’s about 3 other really cool stories but I’m just out of time! But please know that I love this work.  I love it sooo much!  I am sooo very grateful that I chose to come out and forget myself.  I’m so much happier by doing so.

We got a new car…:)  And the tulip festival was going on downtown!  Hope you enjoy the pictures of us “Tip-Toeing through the tulips.”  The festival was cancelled for 2 days because there was a TON of snow randomly…haha!  But it was still wonderful with many people and contacts!! I even ran into a  REALLY NEAT member family from my last area.:)

LOVE YOU LONG TIME!!

Sister Stephie Tobias

Articles of News

http://www.deseretnews.com/article/865579813/Inspired-question-Book-of-Mormon-musical-leads-to-former-California-mayors-conversion.html

Chris Clark is an amazing person. We could leave it there…but we won’t. Here is a little bit of his own words…

What advice would you give to struggling artists who are trying to make ends meet?

There’s no career path. You will never get a booth at the college career fair with someone recruiting plucky young theatre practitioners. That’s the deal. You have to be aware of that. And there’s no template for making it work. But it’s all about work. It’s about your ethic. It’s your willingness to make something happen, instead of hoping it will.

But LDS artists can take comfort in knowing that Heavenly Father is guiding their career. He knows where we all fit, and what we do best. If we are willing to do the work and take the chances, He will make it happen in some way.

I also think you can support a family. I have five kids and we’re doing okay. But you have to marry someone that is going to be supportive of your choice to be in theatre. I’m so lucky to be married to my wife, Lisa. She’s excited for me and is constantly encouraging me to try new things with my work and to put my neck out for opportunities. She loves that I do what I love.

~The Cultural Hall

John Buck is an American Major League Baseball catcher for the New York Mets. A native of Taylorsville Utah, a husband, a father and a member of the LDS faith, Buck was drafted in 1998 by the Houston Astros.  He made his made his major league debut on June 25, 2004 for the Kansas City Royals. As journeyman catcher this year, Buck landed with the New York Mets where he currently leads the National League in RBIs and is second in home runs. In a breakout year, John Buck catches our questions and hits it out of the park.

~The Cultural Hall

Articles of News

Celebration of Porter Rockwell (Read Story)

World Series Dentist (Read Story)

What is this dating thing you speak of (Read Story)

Mormons Behaving Badly (Read Story)

Tucson Temple Site (Read Story)

Book of Mormon Musical Convert (Read Story)

You seen a picture of a steeple on a church? (Read Story)

Ruth Todd replaces Scott Trotter (Read Story)

That little ginger can sure play a mean B-Ball (Read Story)

Dragonfly Haven (Read Story)

Keep your stories to yourself (Read Story)

Undocumented Mormons (Read Story)

The 30th birthday is the tree birthday (Read Story)

It would have been cooler if they were miss

Mitt Romney Advocates Getting Married Young (Read Story)

Elizabeth Smart Talks Sex Education (Read Story)

MLB Stats! (Read Story)

Hello member missionaries!

Articles of News

A Mormon President…for real this time (Read Story)

Woman stole $4 Million Dollars (Read Story)

And then there was only 1 (Read Story)

KSL Drops Hannibal (Read Story)

The Ever Expanding MTC (Read Story)

Mormon Pageant in UK (Read Story)

Mormon Hansen wants to go on a mission (Read Story)

Bishop Burton gets a new job (Read Story)

Bishop Ninja (Read Story)

Stealing Mormon Copper (Read Story)

Mormon Missionaries Thwart the Burglars (Read Story)

Mormons and the Gay Boy Scouts (Read Story)

Mormon Football player dies of Cancer (Read Story)

Nielsen leaves Houston for mission call (Read Story)

I feel silly every email I send because I always start them off by saying, “This week was SUCH an AWESOME week!!”  I feel really uncreative in thinking of other words…Miraculous, Splendid, exciting, a little disappointing, spiritual, and joyful…  That sums it up!

But really.  This week was good.  It was my comp.’s birthday!  She got three cakes and a free pie! Hehe honestly, it was the happiest I’ve ever seen her!   The members we live with made her a BOM bear cake and woke us up at 6 AM to give it to us.   A member gave us a $ 30 gift card to Village Inn because we had an appointment at 6 with Christine and they couldn’t move it.  So sweet, huh?!

NEAT-O STORY!!   WE were serving in the library, and this man handed me a note, “Call me if you’re interested.”  So…I know it sounds like a flirt.  But I was like, “I’m using this to my advantage!! haha.  We told him we are missionaries and made it clear we’re not here to flirt.  He turned out to be really interested in what we had to say about the Restoration and the Plan of Salvation.  So we have met with him and the Childers two more times and he already has a baptismal date for June 1st!!! Too bad I won’t be here to see it happen.  He’s from Nigeria and very humble and happy.

Sherry Dunn, the lady we took to the temple is really starting to make a rebound. She spoke in church yesterday about the temple and it was SO powerful, I was bawling!  She and I truly have a connection.  We took her on a church tour and the reality that Joseph Smith really saw God the Father and Jesus Christ hit us SUPER strongly.  She’s like, “THAT’S AMAZING, ISN’T IT?!! Nobody else claims that happens to that anymore!!”  and The peacefullness we felt in the church was serine because we’ve received a ton of rain!! LIke, I feel like I’m in Monsoon weather!  Lots of basements have flooded!  Anyways…She’s super funny and I will miss her dearly….

Yes….I will miss all of the people I have met in the PERFECT TOWN OF BETTENDORF, IOWA!!! Because I got the call that I am getting transferred!  President Jergensen extended a very special call to me! I AM OPENING AN AREA WHERE NO SISTER HAS EVER BEEN BEFORE!!!! AND TRAINING ANOTHER NEW SISTER!!!! It’s in a branch.  That means we’re gonna baptize a lot of people to help build it up to be a ward! Also, the very next day I get there, 2 mini-missionaries are coming to spend the weekend with us!  Cute huh?!   So i’ll be in charge of 3 little cuties and a new area… It’s a little intimidating, but I’m going to rely on the Lord the most I ever have I’m sure! Hehe   There is not a single complaint about this area.  The Bishop, the ward, the investigators, the service we get to render, and the housing situation is all SUPREME!!!  I know i’ll never have another area that spoiled me more!  haha at least, I can’t imagine it!

More craziness…I got pretty sick this week.  But I got a blessing from the Member I live with and a Dr. Robins (who is MOVING TO SOUTH JORDAN, UT in a month…awesome, huh?!) and I felt immediatly better! Not even kidding!  I was so worried that I got sick from being disobedient or something, but the blessing said, “The Lord is proud of you for your obedience and work here,” and I felt a TON of comfort in that too.

If you can’t tell….I’m super happy out here.  LIke blissfully happy!  I encourage everyone to taste the joy of relying on the Lord to help them find missionary opportunities wherever they are.  I know they exist!  I know that if you ask for help, your faith will be noticed and He will send those who are prepared to meet you!!   The Lord is my light!  The Gospel will NEVER change.  and in a world of opposition in all things, we NEED to know what will keep us grounded and on track!

YOU ARE SO wonderful.   Thank you for supporting the missionaries!  I love you all.

Enjoy the sunshine!

Sister Tobias

Everybody has one in their Utah neighborhood. Some neighborhoods even have two.

‘Inactive members.’

Now, to anyone outside of Utah or Mormon culture, the phrase ‘inactive member’ sounds like a lifeless body part, a limb somehow separated from the torso and lying in the grass somewhere.

 No. The type of inactive member that I am referring to is a person. A person who used to go church regularly and then at some point, stopped going.

 Often when this happens, active members of the Mormon church are a little bit confused about what to do and how to treat inactive members, so I have provided this handy guide.

 What to do when your Mormon neighbor stops attending church:

1. Don’t leave anonymous gifts. This includes books, pamphlets, DVDs, CDs, CTR jewelry, Willow Tree® figurines, and most importantly, baked goods. Now, I’m not saying that you can’t give your neighbor any gifts (with the exception of Rule 3). Free things are great. But give them to your neighbor’s face. Put the item in their hands. If it is something they don’t want, they can slip it into the box destined for Deseret Industries later. (Obviously, the baked goods should not be put in the D.I. box.)
2. Don’t leave anonymous baked goods. Yes, I am repeating myself. There is nothing sketchier than finding a plate of cookies left on your doorstep. Who made them? Was it crazy Sister So-and-So who puts her own breast milk into every recipe? Or did Brother What’s-his-Bucket make them, because he is the King of Kalories and everything he makes is super delicious. Also, how long were the cookies sitting on the welcome mat? Did a cat come along and lick them? Did a fly land on them and leave trace amounts of poop on the frosting? So many terrifying possibilities! Anonymous baked goods are never to be trusted. They will be thrown in the trash.
3. Don’t give Mormony gifts. This will backfire on you. Trust me. Your CD of a guitarist playing the hymnbook’s greatest hits will not be appreciated.
4. Don’t show up unannounced. I don’t know if this is a Mormon thing or what, but this seems to be a problem in Utah. Give the inactive member a warning phone call before you visit. There is nothing worse than being braless and in your pajamas with a big blob of toothpaste on your forehead to get rid of a zit when the entire Relief Society presidency stops by unexpectedly.
5. Respect Boundaries. If your inactive neighbor politely asks you to stop bugging them, stop bugging them. And never secretly try and recruit an inactive member’s child to any church-related activity without their knowledge.
6. Keep them in the loop. If there is a community event that is non-churchy, make sure your inactive neighbor knows about it.
7. Be friendly and honest with your inactive Mormon neighbor. Tell them what you are feeling. They were once active Mormons. They know that you are stressed about the sake of their souls. It’s okay to talk to them about your concerns as long as you do it with respect and kindness. But you are only allowed to do this one time. After that, the topic is forbidden. If you keep lecturing them about the church, they will become frightened of you and duck and cover every time they see you in a grocery store.
8. Don’t be frightened. Your inactive neighbors have not gone to the dark side. They are not chainsaw-wielding psychos or sparkly vampires. Chances are, they haven’t changed very much. They just no longer feel like they fit in to the same church as you. It’s not a big deal.

In summary, don’t go weird on your inactive Mormon neighbor. Follow these easy rules and everybody in your neighborhood will be just fine. And don’t leave anonymous baked goods on anyone’s doorstep. Seriously.

Marie Brian, also known as The Cotton Floozy, is an alternative crafter and nap viking. Her crafts have been featured in Slug Magazine, Catalyst, and the Salt Lake Tribune. Besides making and selling subversive embroidery, Marie has written for various literary magazines including ‘Dialogue’ and ‘Segulla.’ Her poetry is included in the Mormon Poetry anthology ‘Fire in the Pasture.’ Last summer she wrote and performed in The Sunstone Symposium’s ‘Mormon Vagina Monologues.’ You can find The Cotton Floozy’s blog at www.cottonfloozy.com.

A boyhood dream of a Book of Mormon movie, (a REAL one not like the one that was made a few years ago) is about to become a reality.

Meet Zach Thomson…one of MANY making this project happen.

The Cultural Hall is the first press outlet to score an interview about “End of an Empire”

Check out some of the artist renderings done by the folks at WETA (You know Lord of the Rings, Avatar) have done for this movie

Need some great Mother’s Day gift ideas?

I love coming up with gift ideas for people. I’m a big fan of thoughtful gifts that the person didn’t know they wanted until they got it.

I keep a running list of gift ideas, some attached to a specific person and others not.

It’s time to share some.

Books

 A Heart Like His by Virginia H. Pearce

One of my favorite books, published a few years ago. It focuses on charity, and “Charity Never Faileth.”

Act in Doctrine by David A. Bednar

          Released in 2012. I’m partway through this and am really enjoying it. I’ve found lots of ways to implement the teachings from this book.

 Eliza: The Life and Faith of Eliza R. Snow by Karen Lynn Davidson and Jill Mulvay Derr

Released April 2013. I haven’t read yet, but it looks good.

The Beginning of Better Days: Divine Instruction to Women from the Prophet Joseph Smith by Sheri L. Dew and Virginia H. Pearce

Also, haven’t read yet. Released September 2012.

Techie

iPad or Kindle Fire ($$$)

iPod with General Conference downloaded on it ($$)

Teach Me to Walk in the Light & Other Favorite Children’s Songs by the Mormon Tabernacle Choir & the Orchestra at Temple Square ($$)

MP3 digital download available.

Digital SLR camera ($$$)

Crafter

Silhouette Cameo cutter ($$$)

        I think this is better than a Cricut.

Quilting frame

        Can be DIY.

Serger ($$$)

        Mom loves to sew? She’ll love a serger.

Around the Kitchen

KitchenAid stand mixer ($$$)

        She bakes? She’ll use it.

Submersion blender ($$-$$$)

My mother-in-law got me one of these a few years ago, and it sat unused in a drawer for at least six months. I wasn’t sure what to use it for. Once I finally started using it, I was converted. I use it all the time. It’s really cool. I love the Bamix brand one I have, but I think there are other good ones around.

Cuisipro Stainless Steel Measuring Spoons ($$)

I just love these. The slim oval shape of the spoon fits in spice jars. And, they will last forever.

A pretty Apron

Every woman should have an apron she loves to wear.  It should be feminine and still functional. Can be homemade. A pretty apron just makes me smile.

Cookbooks

Six Sisters’ Stuff: Family Recipes, Fun Crafts, and So Much More ($$)

Just released in March 2013, your mom probably doesn’t have this yet.

The Pioneer Woman Cooks: Food from My Frontier by Ree Drummond ($$)

I love this cookbook. It has detailed step-by-step photos. All of the recipes I’ve tried have been a huge hit at my house.

America’s Test Kitchen ($$)

This is my favorite cookbook of all time, which is saying a lot coming from someone who owns more than 100. I know every recipe I make from here will be devoured by anyone who tries it.

Other

Deseret Book Mom Tote Bags ($$)

Personally, I like using a large purse as a church bag, but I like the idea of these.

Temple dress hanging bag (Homemade or $$-$$$)

I purchased a cute one from Etsy.com a few years ago.

Time Out for Women conference admission fee ($$)

Go to www.TOFW.com for cities, dates and registration

365 Days of Story Prompts, download from CherishBound.com

For the mom who loves family history or is writing her own family history.

I absolutely do not think gifts have to cost a lot, or even any, money. I know some of these are quite expensive. But, they are just ideas.

What do you want for Mother’s Day?

What are you getting your mom?

Articles of News

Ziggy Ansah (Read Story)

Don’t Marry your brother! (Read Story)

LDS Music Festival (Read Story)

I’m a Utah Mormon-Why don’t I matter? (Read Story)

Labrador is discovered by the World (Read Story)

Grandin Open House (Read Story)

MCO Taking over the world (Read Story)

Sunday School Teacher gets 7 years (Read Story)

What about Gay Scouts? (Read Story)

Everyone is safe in West Texas (Read Story)

This institute thing is catching on (Read Story)

Business training to LDS Missionaries (Read Story)

Dinosaurs killed the Mormon Cricket (Read Story)

I’m a Mormon Gentleman (Read Story)

Taking tracks to the MTC (Read Story)

LDS Bishops hearing (Read Story)

Elder Peterson passed away (Read Story)

Provo Templenacle (Read Story)

Emails for everyone! (Read Story)

SVU Announces Two Mission Prep Summer Camps (Read Story)

Man who bombed LDS Meetinghouse is Paroled (Read Story)

President Monson and Harry Reid? (Read Story)

Family Search redesign (Read Story)

Historic LDS Church memorabilia (Read Story)

Primary Kids Say the Darndest Things  (Read Story)

CONGRATS to the sweetest little nine year old ever! Jessica Maly was baptised this weekend! It was a miracle. We were able to find, teach, and help her get baptized in about 5 weeks! The Lord truly blessed us. Her mom even came, and so did her sister! We don’t think the sister has ever been to church before, and her mom hasn’t come for many years. We hope this will help reactive the mom, and that Jessers can truly lead the way for her older sister!
She knows that her Heavenly Father loves her! She said, “I’m excited to give Him a hug when I die. But I’m kind of nervous, because He’s really powerful! And if he squeezes me too hard, I might blow up!” Haha She’s so fun! Then when we told her a circle of men will be giving her a blessing, she was really confused. “Well, what if they tap me on the head the whole time??!”
Anyways…everything in this teaching process was cute. Her grandpa is about 84 years old and he baptised her! He totally fell in the font when he stepped in though. It was so sad! He might have sprained his wrist and got a cut. She forgot to plug her nose, so when she came out, she had really BIG eyes.
The reason there is a picture with a “Wow!” with our fingers is because she did not understand the “Word of Wisdom” commandment at all. She kept getting it confused with reading the scriptures. So we told her to make that face (it spells WOW) and list 6 things that she can and can’t eat to stay healthy. The District Leader laughed so hard when she got interviewed!!!

ANOTHER MIRACLE!!! Brighid called us right after the baptism and told us that the Priesthood blessing she received from the men in our ward healed her. She said that before this blessing, the doctor scanned her knees and she would need a knee replacement in about one year. She just went back and got an MRI and said that calcium had been deposited in her knees and that a knee replacement wouldn’t be necessary for at least another 2-6 years!!!! She said, “I immediately thought of the blessing. I just know that it has to be from those men!” We aren’t too shocked because we know that God can do amazing things to help people get closer to baptism. We pray she will recognize the reason why God healed her!

Spiritual thought: We went out to go “finding” on a particular street and our GPS lost it’s signal! :S So I told Sis. King to just keep moving forward and eventually we would pick up a satellite signal. It came true…the GPS did start to work! Later in the day, we were tracting and Sis. King said, “I don’t know where to go! I just can’t tell where the spirit wants to lead me…” So I said, “do you remember when the GPS started working again if we just kept moving? :0] Well…I promise if we show the Lord that we are working, he’ll send us to a door that needs to be knocked!” But we can’t just sit here and wait for a sign.” Just like Alma 37:38-40. We are promised that the Lord will lead the way for us if we read the scriptures and they will become our compass! Isn’t that a neat and reassuring promise? I love it!

BEING a missionary. I am addicted to it!!! Sister King says that I wake up in the middle of the night and invite people to be baptized in my sleep. Then I will get on my knees and pray for my investigators. I’m completelly asleep when I’m doing so!! Hahaha But I guess I’m eating, sleeping, breathing missionary work! Which is exactly what I need to be doing. I’ve been so blessed out here. Sheesh.

I admire you all. Thank you for your encouraging and hopeful words! May God bless you all!

LOVE YOU SO MUCH!
Sister Tobias

Kass Martin is a celebrity instructor and one of the leading Education Specialists for Zumba®, the world’s largest branded dance-fitness company, with more than 12 million participants in 110,000 locations across 125 countries. Certified in group fitness by the Aerobics and Fitness Association of America (AFAA) and the American Council on Exercise (ACE), she is a leading authority for educating others about Zumba Fitness, and promoting its goals and methodologies.

Zumba…

While teaching seminary a few days ago I did a role play with the students where I asked a series of questions about marriage and they pretended to be a high school student, a missionary, and a 25 year old. Not too surprising, the responses I received for the “25 year old” were groans and moans about the pressures of marriage.

But perhaps this idea is a bit taken for granted. Last week I heard about this story, where a Princeton alum advised female Princeton students who sought professional and academic success plus family life, to find Mr. Right while at Princeton.

This advice SHOCKED people. She was called a lot of things, including an Anti-feminist and an Elitist. She handles this criticism like a champ, as seen in the piece for the Today show posted below.

Princeton Alum: Find Mr. Right in College

Here’s the thing: I agree with her. And I think the general culture of the Church agrees with her.

It’s not just for girls

I have a handful of friends who did not marry in college and later on found their spouse. Guess what? It was difficult for them. These men tried it all. Online dating, blind dates, group dates, and so on. Short of going through their high school yearbooks, they all seemed to reach their whit’s end and want to give up at one point or another. Not to mention they each were accused of being gay by people they love since they weren’t married. A few even had experiences like Joseph and Potiphar’s wife while trying to find Mrs. Right.

Finding your spouse in college is easier for everyone- you’ve got a campus full of people who have their stuff together enough to get into a higher education institution.
They’re not tied down to a career just yet. They can develop a relationship before they’re set in their ways.

Call it elitist, but I think it’s easier.

You’re not just choosing a college…

Living in Texas for handful of years we have seen and helped many young people in our ward and stake go to college.

My husband always says that he would love to hold a fireside or something to let these kids know that this choice sets up the rest of their life. Who they marry, where they live after they’re finished with school, it is often set by where we choose. Probably more so than the average college student- because LDS youth do not just choose an education, they potentially choose a spouse.

Think about it- you choose a spouse based on where the cost of living is cheaper.

You choose a spouse based on where you get a better scholarship.

On where your friends are going. On the weather (some folks can’t stand snow). On what you want to study. And so on.

Suddenly, you’ve not only picked a school that saves you $5,000- but also one that could take charge of the rest of your (eternal) life.

Okay, okay. I’m probably being a little too dramatic. While this is shocking news to the rest of the world, I think most of us Mormons just shrugged because we’ve heard it all before.

Still… I was glad to see that someone else shared our opinion.

Now I wonder what all the fuss was about. Marriage has been nothing like I thought it would be. I’ve been very pleasantly surprised. In the 10+ years we’ve been together we’ve had exactly one fight: my sweet wife thought her Mongolian BBQ leftovers would keep in a 120 degree car while we went to the movies. I thought otherwise…

So why has our marriage been so great? One word: games! Google the number one cause for divorce and you’ll get over 152,000,000 hits. When you start clicking on those links you quickly see that one thing keeps coming up over and over again. Hint, it starts with ‘S’ and rhymes with ‘rex’. Some don’t get enough, some get too much, some never get what they want, some end up getting it from places they shouldn’t. To make sure we don’t have any problems with this in our marriage, we play games, mostly Yahtzee.

Here’s how it works (spoilers ahead): The best of five wins “their way”, winner best of three gets to pick something from a long list of desirable items (use your imagination). This is great because when you get around to you-know-what each person will be getting something they want. And I can tell you that in all our years of playing Yahtzee no one has gone on the type of winning streak that would threaten our marriage. The bottom line is that both of us are almost always getting what we want. This gets rid of all the tension around the number one cause of problems in marriage. It’s great.

Games can also be used for many other things: who has to change the diapers, doing dishes, shopping, visiting the in-laws, bathing the kids, etc. Be creative. I heartily recommend games as a way to make your marriage better, but I’m curious if other Cultural Haller’s have tips? What do you use to make your marriage work?

In this episode we visit with Chelsea…who finished the Boston Marathon just 8 mins before the bombs went off. Hear her story of how she was blessed the morning of the race.

Our thoughts and prayers are with those out in Boston or wherever they may be who are grieving at this time

~The Cultural Hall

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Stay in high school as LONG as you can! (Read Story)

Shooting by Columbus temple UPDATE (Read Story)

Survivor from Utah (Read Story)

Mormons backing away from Prop 8 (Read Story)

General Young Women President on Pinterest (Read Story)

Top of the Mormon to ya (Read Story)

Granddaughter of two LDS presidents (Read Story)

Mormons on the Voice (Read Story)

Win this one for the Gifford (Read Story)

Linda Galindo is a former journalist and radio news personality, Galindo made the shift to consulting, speaking and writing about accountability 20 years ago. Galindo noticed that news stories were about people, especially leaders in business and government, who were not accountable.

My wife attended Linda Galindo’s lecture on Accountability. That’s where the idea for this episode started…but where it finished was a real great discussion on accountability. Accountability in the work place, in our relationships, and to ourselves and God we are each personally accountable for what we do and don’t do.

This episode comes with a warning..once you listen to it you will be accountable for what you learn.

~The Cultural Hall

I knew as soon as I saw her blog hit the internet last week that we had to get Al Fox in The Cultural Hall.

A tremendous story of positive attitude from Al at a time she could have chosen to not be so nice. Listen to how her life was changed by a simple steak dinner AND to find out what she ordered at Cafe Rio that fatefully day she chose to remain positive.

Guys…she’s taken.

Don’t believe me? Listen to the end.

~Richie T

Links: Blog | Facebook | SoundCloud | Twitter | YouTube

In a last minute type of thing we decided to take the show on the road down to the Cedar Fort spring cleaning sale.  If you are in Utah and wanna save a ton of money on some great books you need to check out this sale.

Cedar Fort Publishing & Media will be  hosting a spring cleaning clearance sale on April 11–13 from 10 a.m.
to 6 p.m. in its Springville warehouse at 2373 West 700 South. All items in stock will be discounted 10 to 80 percent off their retail  value.
In addition to food and giveaways, 24 of the publisher’s authors—all  of whom live in Utah—will be on hand intermittently to sign copies  of their books. Each of the publisher’s four genres (nonfiction,  fiction, cookbook/outdoors and LDS) will be represented during the  book signing portions of the event.

So we sat down with a few authors. Here are links to their books.

Betsy Schow-Finished Being Fat: An Accidental Adventure in Losing Weight and Learning How to Finish

Sherri Mills- Marriage 101 for Men: Why Taking Out the Trash Is a Turn On

Treion Muller-Mom Rules: Because Even Super Heroes Need Help Sometimes

Greg Ford-No Girls Allowed: Cookbook for Men

Even the Owner of the place stopped by.

We hope you enjoy.

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Cedar City to get Mormon temple; Rio de Janeiro, too (Read Story)

LDS Church announces new Young Women general presidency (Read Story)

Mormon apostle Packer warns against ‘tolerance trap’ (Read Story)

7th Patriarch of the LDS Church dies at 106 years old (Read Story)

Hispanic Mormon leads House Republicans on immigration (Read Story)

Sister LDS missionaries will have key role in new Mission Leadership Council (Read Story)

Mormon Helping Hands video nominated for CNN award (Read Story)

Mormons win court banning order against ex-member in threats row (Read Story)

LDS Democrats announce new nationwide organization (Read Story)

Logan man enters LDS temple without ID (Read Story)

Former Mormon Missionary Describes The Experience Of ‘Elders (Read Story)

Mormon elder: What I told Jodi about sex is ___ (Read Story)

New website brings positive music to the masses (Read Story)

Family Of Four Receives LDS Mission Calls On Same Day (Read Story)

Elijah Ables, a black Mormon priesthood holder in the 19th century (Read Story)

IS STEPHENIE MEYER’S ‘THE HOST’ ROOTED IN MORMON DOCTRINE? HOW THE RELIGION FOSTERS SCI-FI (Read Story)

It happened.

Now learn how it “Might” have come to pass

~The Cultural Hall

This was recently posted to TED.com

Ken Jennings holds the record for most consecutive wins on the classic American trivia game show, Jeopardy.

Why you should listen to him:
Ken Jennings loves facts. When he was a kid he followed his parents around reciting whatever new fact he had learned — “Haley’s comet or giant squids or the size of the world’s biggest pumpkin pie or whatever it was” — to no end. And his natural curiosity paid off. Today Jennings holds the record for most consecutive wins on the trivia game show Jeopardy, with an astounding 74 wins. (At one point Jennings also held the Guinness World Record for “Most cash won on a game show.” Not bad for a trivia nerd.)
In 2011 Jennings participated in the IBM Challenge, which featured him and Jeopardy rival Brad Rutter in a match against IBM supercomputer Watson. Jennings came in second. Watson was first. But Jennings wasn’t disappointed in his performance, As he wrote of his loss, “I don’t have 2,880 processor cores and 15 terabytes of reference works at my disposal. … My puny human brain, just a few bucks worth of water, salts, and proteins, hung in there just fine against a jillion-dollar supercomputer.”
In 2012 Jennings published the book Because I Said So!: The Truth Behind the Myths, Tales, and Warnings Every Generation Passes Down to Its Kids.

Source: http://on.ted.com/Jennings

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Hopoate is one Good looking Mormon (Read Story)

Threaten a Mormon…that’s 17 Months (Read Story)

1 Billion Names (Read Story)

Ryan Rotela shuns The Cultural Hall (Read Story)

Buying up apartments for the missionaries (Read Story)

Nick Emery goest to Frankfurt (Read Story)

Church’s stance on Gay Marriage (Read Story)

I hope they call me back on a mission (Read Story)

Mormon Studies Review (Read Story)

Hey ABISH! (Read Story)

The box said ARMY! (Read Story)

Confessions of a Mormon bishop (Read Story)

Traditional Marriage Rally at Utah State Capitol: (Read Story)

What a glorious Easter I had! This was the first Easter where I truly thought about what Easter means…besides Bunnies and Peeps and Jelly Beans! Sister King and I got an Easter Basket and filled it with pictures of Christ, “The Lamb of God” DVD, and Copies of the BOM to take around to people we met on the street. It was SO FUN to be the Easter Bunny with a real gift. I asked a little girl what her favorite thing about Easter was, and she said, “How the Easter Bunny brings gifts in my basket!” And I told her this: We get a gift from a basket every week! During the sacrament, someone brings around bread and water to give us the gift of repentance as we renew our promise to keep Heavenly Father’s commandments!
The message I wanted to talk about with the members and other people we taught this month was about how the Book of Mormon really helps us get to know our Savior so much better than any other book. In 3 Nephi 11: 14-17 Christ says that He let about 2500 people come and touch him individually. If I did the math right, it would’ve taken 7 hours if each person could touch Him for 6 seconds. I have a testimony that one day, every single one of us will get to feel the prints in his hands and feet and we will never, ever want to leave His presence. We will do anything possible to stay with him forever and ever! Please remember that on your dark days, and you will feel peace that the atonement is possible and real!!

Jessica is adorable! We taught her and she’s still on track for baptism on April 13th. She made us a heart that said, “Thank you for teaching us!” Since she’s still in Activity Days…we got to go with her! We did YOGA! Hehe We wanted to be her friend.

We had so much fun on Saturday with a service project we helped organize with one of our favorite girls in the ward. She invited some of her non-member and member friends to make Easter cards and decorations for the old lonely ladies in our ward. There were 6 ladies we took the decorations, cookies, and also “egged” their yard with easter eggs. One lady cried when she opened the door and told us she just got diagnosed with cancer and now is getting reminded that God loves her. Awww This was one of my favorite things to do on my mission so far. The girls had so much fun. We hope to teach the girls that came with us as she felt the spirit of Christ through service!

THe members are really starting to trust us. We received 6 member referrals this week. A family came up to me and said, “We have a family we want you to teach!” And again…I asked a family who they are working with with spreading missionary work, and they said, “umm…they’re not really ready right now for the gospel.” And I said, “What’s their names? We’ll pray for them this week.” She told us their names were the MBoowa family and they were from Uganda. We were working at the Family Museum and I was prompted to start talking to this family. I found out that it was the MBoowa family!!!!!!!!!! I told them I knew someone that knew them, and that ended up in a discussion about when they want to learn about the gospel! We have an appointment to teach them on Friday!!!! AHHH!!! It’s such a miracle. I LOVE Praying sooo much. I could never be on my knees long enough to express my gratitude for each day I spend out here.

I love you all so much….and that is NO APRIL FOOL’S joke!
Have an amazing Conference weekend! Pay attention to the one that sticks out to you. There will be one that’s meant just for you, because we are all precious to Jesus Christ! And that’s how He speaks to us.

LOVE YOU AND ADORE YOU!!!

Sister Tobias

D&C 121: 37 reads, “That they may be conferred upon us, it is true; but when we undertake to cover our sins, or to gratify our pride, our vain ambition, or to exercise control or dominion or compulsion upon the souls of the children of men, in any degree of unrighteousness, behold, the heavens withdraw themselves; the Spirit of the Lord is grieved; and when it is withdrawn, Amen to the priesthood or the authority of that man.”

Parents feel the need to steer their children in the right direction by setting rules, in only for their own good. Giving children a curfew, setting rules about going out on school nights, dating, etc., are all for their child’s own well-being. However I think most people would agree that there is a line drawn in the sand where rules can transition into the practice of unrighteous dominion.

There are four distinct parenting styles. First, there is authoritarian parenting. In this form of parenting, strict rules are set for children, yet the parents are “unresponsive” to the questions children may have about authority. The standard response is, “because I said so.” Second is authoritative parenting. In this form of parenting, the parents are willing to respond to children’s questions of authority while setting rules for them to follow. Third, permissive parenting, involves having few demands and few consequences for their children. These parents will, “often taking on the status of a friend more than that of a parent.” Fourth, uninvolved parenting, involves parents who are almost completely detached from their children.

Since family is such a large emphasis of the LDS church, I thought I would take a little time to analyze the authoritarian style, and consequences, from an LDS perspective.

The affects of authoritarian parenting on children can be unhappiness and low self esteem. Also, the children become extremely obedient. Children obeying their parents is important. In D&C 130:19 it says, “And when we obtain any blessing from God, it is by obedience to that law upon which it is predicated.” While it is important to explain to children the blessings of obeying their parents, where should we draw the line?

Another side-affect of authoritarian parenting is children being frightened by making their own decisions. In April of 2012, Elder Larry Y. Wilson gave a talk titled, Only upon the Principles of Righteousness. In his talk, Elder Wilson discusses children exercising free agency.

“If we wait until they walk out the door to turn over to them the reins of their moral agency, we have waited too long. They will not suddenly develop the ability to make wise decisions if they have never been free to make any important decisions while in our homes. Such children often either rebel against this compulsion or are crippled by an inability to make any decisions on their own.”

By always relying on parents to make their decisions, when the time comes for the children to make decisions by themselves, waves of doubt, discouragement and anxiety can overwhelm them.

One Sunday afternoon, after church meetings had adjourned, Satan stood across the street from the building. As he waited for people to emerge from their meetings to walk to their cars, he said to the imp on his shoulder, “I want you to run over and discourage these people. They are happy, and I am not. Make them feel unhappy too.”

The imp jumped from the devil’s shoulder and sauntered across the street. Soon, a man emerged from the front doors of the chapel.

“I had a great lesson in Sunday school. It was just what I needed to hear,” the man said to himself. At this the imp climbed to his shoulder. There he whispered, “You are discouraged.”

The man replied, seemingly to himself, “That was a great lesson, and I’m really glad I went, but I really need to get that report done for tomorrow.”

Not satisfied yet, the imp whispered again, “You are very discouraged.”

The man raked his fingers through his hair while digging his car keys from his pocket. “I don’t know how I’m going to have time to get everything done for the week. This is really stressing me out.” The man got into his car, feeling utterly discouraged.

Now satisfied, the imp grinned. Rubbing his hands together in obvious pleasure, he scurried back across the street to the devil’s shoulder.

Through discouragement we can become more vulnerable to the tools of the devil. In Moroni 7:12 it says, “Wherefore, all things which are good cometh of God; and that which is evil cometh of the devil; for the devil is an enemy unto God, and fighteth against him continually, and inviteth and enticeth to sin, and to do that which is evil continually.”

These are not natural tendencies I hope any parent would want to instill in their children. By teaching children to pray, receive revelation and recognize that revelation, they are able to exercise their free agency at a higher and more spiritual capacity.

Elder Wilson says, “Wise parents prepare their children to get along without them. They provide opportunities for growth as children acquire the spiritual maturity to exercise their agency properly. And yes, this means children will sometimes make mistakes and learn from them.”

Although it may be difficult to watch your children make their own decisions, fully knowing that they are not the right ones, it is a good exercise for children to test their own decision making skills.

So, if you know someone who grows upset because their child puts a sheet of cookies into the oven the wrong way, or their child doesn’t consult with them first before they tie their shoes, or the child asks their permission to breathe, they’re probably and authoritarian parent.

It is important to nurture our children with love and compassion. These building blocks of a relationship can only be built with trust, and a growing testimony of the gospel of Jesus Christ.

Even if you don’t know who Alex Boye is, though that would surprise us, you have definitely seen him before if you have ever watched General Conference. It seems that the camera loves him, for good reason, he’s a good looking guy and he is one of the small handful of non-white people in the Mormon Tabernacle Choir.

This episode is a fun journey from England to the United States with  Alex’s conversion story. Hear about his “Boy Band” Awesome and what he has planned for the future.

His laugh and great attitude is contagious.

~The Cultural Hall

HELLO EASTER BUNNIES!!

HOW ARE YOU ALL??!!  Is Spring time as invigorating to you as it is to missionaries??!! I just LOVE Spring!!

Oh!  We had SUCH a sweet miracle happen.  Because we had such great success after President Jergensen’s suggestion to fast for a new investigator,  we fasted last week to get a hold of  one of our potential investigators (a granddaughter of a member), and on Thursday she called us up to have dinner with her and her granddaughter came!!!  She accepted the baptismal invitation and seemed to know the Restoration pretty well! She turns nine in April, so we are really trying to get her baptized by her birthday date! I’m so lucky to get to teach a little kid! Her mom is less active, so we took her mom some cookies to butter her up…teehee!

There is a missionary who is really struggling right now.  It’s so hard because she’s been crying almost everyday.  She has a lot of panic attacks and anxiety.  So much that she won’t talk to anyone sometimes.  I felt bad but I realized the HUGE importance it is to make sure you are MENTALLY PREPARED before entering the mission field.  Everyone says that a mission is hard.  I honestly didn’t believe anyone that said that because it’s the Lord’s work, and He blesses you with such great joy!  But it is emotionally taxing, if not physically as well.  I’ve probably had my patience tested more than I ever have. I thought I was KIND OF a NICE PERSON before my mission….but The Lord has shown me my weaknesses, and has given me so much grace to overcome them.  I just open up Moroni 7:45-48 and pray for the gift of charity. It helps SO MUCH! But I love her so much and my heart BREAKS to see her struggle so much.   We hope to see her feel better really soon.

It was interesting because we went through our Area Book and found a lady who’d been taught several years ago. We went over to her house to get to know her, and reschedule a time to meet with some members. When we met with her again and invited her to be baptized, She was Completely taken off guard! It was a surprise to me that the previous missionaries had never asked her to be baptized and she’d been taught for almost 6 months… I’m so grateful that our President encourages us to invite on the first visit, because I know she will progress much faster now, and she will receive answers to her prayers as she obtains a vision for herself.

We were teaching another young woman (age 12) yesterday and she said the most profound thing.  She asked us if God listened to people’s prayers according to their abilities.  For example, “does he listen to the prophet more than he does a sinner?”  And I paused to think about that for a second….hmm…and my companion said, “No.  We’re all the same in His eyes.  We’re all his children, regardless of how righteous we are.”
Then she started tearing up.  “Wow….So, Heavenly Father listens to my prayers just as well as He listens to the prophets prayers!!”  AH! It was such a powerful lesson!  And she gave us two friends that she wants us to teach on Saturday! She’s going to invite them to the Young Womens General Broadcast and we’re going to make cookies before to take to the old ladies in the ward.   That is….IF they agree to come!!! So we’re praying!!!

Well, I better get Hoppin!
THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR ALL OF YOUR LOVE, SUPPORT, FRIENDSHIP, AND tesitmony sharing!

Explanation of the picture: It’s a tradition that on everyone’s 9 month mark…they take a pregnant picture….It’s ridiculous but I did it!

I love you ALL so much!
Sister Tobias

Articles of News

A survey performed in 1993 shows that 20 percent of women and five to 10 percent of men in the United States have been victims of childhood sexual abuse. For those who are not acquainted with the ugly side effects of childhood sexual abuse, the outcome is devastating.

But what does this look like from a Mormon perspective?

Statistics will say that the odds of the offender being a family member or friend is very high – 70 to 90 percent possible, in fact. How does this affect the forgiveness process, a huge staple among LDS beliefs.

As someone with a lot of experience in this area, and a life-time Mormon, the only thing I can say about this process is that it’s extremely difficult, and by some can be misinterpreted. Forgiving someone does not mean you have to be friends with the offender afterwards and sit down for lunch. You don’t have to enjoy being in their presence or think they’re a wonderful person. Forgiving this person means realizing they will pay for their sins at the judgement seat, and moving on with your life without begrudgement.

Of course, this is always easier said than done. There can be heavy burdens placed upon the victims. Sexual abuse is a unique crime in the fact that the victim is continually victimized. I’ve even heard members say some girls were asking for it because they were immodestly dressed, or weren’t as active as they should have been because they haven’t been coming to Young Women’s activities.

A young woman I knew who was a victim of severe sexual abuse hated going to Young Women activities or being around her leaders, because they would constantly ask her, “Are you morally clean?”

First, let me say that I know these women have their hearts in the right place. They are concerned about the virtue of their young women. In Jacob 2:28 it says, “For I, the Lord God, delight in the chastity of women.”

I suppose the question among some members is whether victims of sexual abuse are “morally clean.”

There is no doubt in my mind that these victims are special children of God, and they are just as morally clean as they would have been without the abuse. Because their free agency was taken away, I don’t see how a victim of this horrible crime would ever be held accountable for it.

Especially when the abuser is a member of the church, it is understandable how these victims could possibly go inactive. Someone once asked me the question, “How can I belong to a church that has members that sexually abuse little children?”

First, my response is that she would be hard-pressed to find a single religious organization or sect in the world that did not have that within it. Secondly, it is important to remember the, what I call, Mormon mantra, “The church is perfect, the people are not.” Third, I explained that during this time of life, it is important to turn to our Heavenly Father.

By doing this, I believe these victims can achieve inner peace. In Elder Paul V. Johnson’s talk, “Where Can I Turn For Peace?” he talks about two kinds of peace. First, inner peace, which is peace with one’s self, peace of mind, peace of soul. Second is peace in the world.

Although the victim may be going through an extremely heavy burden, inner peace can still be obtained. President Howard. W. Hunter said,”The gift of peace doesn’t mean all our problems and challenges will dissolve according to a timeline we set. But we can have peace amidst trials.”

I have heard the analogy of a tornado storm used to describe trials and finding faith. If you are in a cellar, safe but still within the storm, why would you wander outside your shelter into the heart of the turmoil outside? The same logic can be used with becoming inactive because of a trial. Why would you walk out of the shelter of the gospel to seek peace in a blizzard of worldly danger?

Again, easier said than done. Though these victims have been through some of the hardest trials, hopefully they can find inner peace by turning to the man who can comfort them most – our Heavenly Father.

For more about healing from abuse, here are some conference talks to refer to.

Protect the Children by Elder Dallin H. Oaks. The Tongue of Angels by Elder Jeffrey R. Holland. Save The Children by President Gordon B. Hinckley. Healing the Tragic Scars of Abuse by Elder Richard G. Scott.

Jeff Parkin is an Associate Professor in the Department of Theatre and Media Arts and was appointed as an Associate Chair of the Department in 2009. He received a Bachelor of Arts in Film and Television Production from the School of Cinema-Television at the University of Southern California in 1990 as well as a BA in English/Humanities from USC. In 1991, he received a Master of Fine Arts from USC in screenwriting, with additional emphasis in directing.

Before coming to Brigham Young University he worked in Los Angeles for 15 years as a producer, director, and writer with companies such as: Miramax Pictures, CBS Television, Orion Pictures, David E. Kelley Productions, EMI/Capitol Records, Fox Television, Dallas Museum of Art, Franklin/Covey, Los Angeles Philharmonic, Los Angeles Times, McGraw-Hill Companies and United Artists.

He has written, directed and/or produced two full-length feature films, a number-one-rated movie of the week for CBS Television, as well as numerous short films, commercials, documentaries, music videos and industrial films. In 2010 Parkin received the Outstanding Achievement in Drama award from the Association for Mormon Letters for producing The Book of Jer3miah.

After writing my last post for The Cultural Hall Podcast, a bigger issue came to light than that of which I was writing: Why are grown single adults of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints often treated as if they are adolescents?  As one of our readers commented, there is “…the state of arrested development that LDS singles often live in. We age, beholden to the same rules and expectations placed on us at age 12, without the benefit of the doubt that we actually matured beyond age 12.”

I’ve noticed the ailments this phenomenon has caused me over the past few years without quite realizing the root of the symptoms.  We are treated, not to sound harsh, as this diseased population with the constant questioning of, “What is the cure?”

One of my best friends, in tears, shared with me a story of how she has been contacted by two new singles ward bishops from neighboring states.  She is viewed in her network of friends and family as the token single girl.  Keep in mind, this girl would love nothing more than to have a family with a gaggle of children for whom to care.  The bishops wanted to learn more about their congregations and asked her questions like, “Why are you still single?  Do you feel there is something wrong with you?  What’s wrong with the men?  How do we fix this?  What can we do to keep this from happening to other people?”  After those questions, she was told, “I’m so impressed with you – you are put together, own your home, have a great career, and are in extra-curricular activities that keep your life constantly busy.  How do you do it?”  My question is, “What else was she supposed to do?!”  Being single is not a disease, there is no immunization.  Live life to its fullest no matter what your position in life!

At the age of 29, I was given a little golden card with ten rules to put in my wallet.  Those very rules were the exact same that I was handed my first week as a 17-year old BYU freshmen:

• Do not be alone in a room with a member of the opposite gender
• No sitting in a parked car for an extended period of time
• Both feet on the floor at all times when near a member of the opposite gender
• Never be with someone of the opposite gender after midnight
• Don’t touch a boy, or you’ll get pregnant out of wedlock.

Okay, I’m kidding on that last one, but I felt the rules were that preposterous for those who have matured well past the age of new-found freedom from no longer being under the jurisdiction of Mom and Dad.  I whispered to my other friends nearing the 30-mark, “Is this serious?  Am I supposed to never allow men in my home (I live alone)?”  We all shrugged and laughed it off.  We joked that the little golden card would never allow me to go on a date at all because no man would be permitted to pick me up at my condo because that would be “alone.”

There is a perception amongst some (not all) married sets that “single” = “immature or irresponsible.”  Adults reach many ages of accountability:

• 18: Vote, Legally considered an adult
• 21: Drink, gamble (if you are the drinking/gambling type), book your own hotel room
• 25: Rent a car

Society as a whole acknowledges that we become more mature, responsible decision-makers at certain ages.  Why, then, am I hearing the same morality talks given to me as a 17-year old?  I am capable of having my own Condo, zero debt, and a successful career.  Yet, I am not capable of controlling myself enough to not make babies if I’m alone with a man.  Naturally.

I have to be fair, this problem has decreased greatly since I left the YSA (Young Single Adult ward, ages 18-30) to become an inhabitant of the “Island of Misfit Toys,” or, as some like to call it, the “Single Adult Ward.”  Many have heard legend of the unicorns that roam freely in these parts – the unmarried, faithful, virginal creatures over the age of 31.  I know, I know, the stuff of legends, I tell ya.

The Church has an ever-expanding waistband on its mid-single abdomen, that they, as of yet, have no clue how to handle.

Prior to my move to The Island, I heard many strange tales that all equate to one statement: All of the Misfit Toys are damaged goods who are single for a reason and you should only go to The Island to watch the freak show.

Young single adult ward and married couples, this is absolutely not true.  Most of the single adult ward members are about as well-adjusted individuals as you can find!  We’ll never have to worry about “living on love alone” because we’ve already got our futures and financials set.  Yes, some folks are there because of exiting troubled marriages, they are not yet able to grasp what will make them most aesthetically appealing to the opposite gender, or they want to be.  But me and most of the ward members?  I had simply not found the right man to marry.   We all become more set in our ways as we age, but having structure and patterns to life is healthy, not a sign of some incurable selfishness.   I would choose infinitesimally to be happy single than unhappy in a mismatch.  I’ve been in love a handful of times, yet things fell apart for one reason or another.  I’m ecstatic to say that all but one of those men are currently quite happily married.   And I’m ecstatic to say that I’m currently entirely in love, as if you all didn’t already know that.

Recently, my single adult mega-ward of 650 was told, if rumor serves correct, we needed to leave the building where we had been holding services.  How do you find a building large enough to accommodate those masses?  One phenomenal young lady took on the task and found a workable location.  There are still far from enough parking spots, you still have to arrive early or face the long hike to the building, you still have to fight for a seat and then cleave unto the hips of strangers, our meeting time is almost 2pm, and we still have six, yes six, Relief Societies.  Sometimes I feel like one measly, anonymous fish in a sea of faces being tossed to and fro with the waves.

You often hear the “conspiracy theorists” talking about how the Church doesn’t know what to do with us so they shove us to the side or hope we weed ourselves out if they make things difficult enough for us or how we are viewed as the illegitimate child.  I do not participate in those conversations, as I do not believe they are constructive.

People are afraid of the unknown.  Never before has the Church known a single adult population such as this.

Is being single breaking a commandment?  Are we purposefully defying what we’ve been told to do?  Is the Church doing something wrong and leaving us all out on a limb? No, No, and NO.  With each new societal change, the Church learns to adapt.  We are simply in the midst of a learning curve.

The brethren will soon figure out how to best accommodate this blossoming population.  I know the way to resolve our fears and discontent is to hang in there with faith and willingness to help.  I think most of us simply wish there was some communication from the powers that be regarding a proverbial light at the end of the tunnel…that we are not forgotten as the lost boys and girls of the Church.  Even the lesson manuals are directed either at adolescents or married couples raising families…no specifics for us in-betweenies.

Not to mention our poor bishopric.   How overwhelming it must be for them to feel they have to get to know 650 individuals personally!  How overwhelming for us to sit there and realize that personal attention is in all probability not a realistic expectation.   Do you know how crazy it is to try to find someone to whom to hand your tithing?  Our ward does have six sets of “couple counselors” to help ease this burden.  And let me tell you, they are fantastic.  We had an amazing event over Saint Patrick’s Day weekend where every leader in our ward went out of their way to meet each face and one remembered enough to find us on Facebook the next day.  After four months in the ward, I was extended a calling without having to beg for one.  Maybe “overwhelmed” is a better word than “lost” to describe what it feels like in the ward.

The fact of the matter is, people are getting married later in the life.  Many studies support this and try to determine what has changed.  No matter the results, things have changed and the Church will accommodate as soon as the best decision is reached.   I’m optimistic and faithful, yet I still sometimes succumb to this feeling as if I’m in limbo.

Until then, this is your brief tasting of life on the Island of Misfit Toys.  Or as I prefer to call it, my ward.

Exclusive Interview with Elder Jensen one of the two Elders that taught Jodi Arias.

We, as The Cultural Hall, don’t want to weigh in on the case. We only wanted to share her conversion story from the point of view of one of the Elders who taught her. There is not another interview anywhere with the Elders who taught Jodi Arias.

And now this Special Episode of The Cultural Hall.

Richie T

Top of the Morning to you!!!

We’ve had some great successes this week, and I’m not calling it LUCK…even though it was St. Patty’s Day yesterday!! Our mission president had a revelation to have our entire mission fast on Sunday to find a new investigator on Tuesday. I knew we could find one, but we only had one hour on Tuesday to do it because we had a lot of appts. scheduled. And it was in the LAST HOUR OF THE DAY….8-9!

Anyways, so we started tracking and everyone was getting ready for bed. So we called up a former investigator that hadn’t been taught for two years. Her name was Brenda Salter from the Caribbeans! She told us that her LDS daughter sent her a letter last week telling her her testimony and explaining how badly she needed to get baptized! So she allowed us to come back later that week and continue teaching her! “whala!” Our fast was blessed by the hand of the Lord. I’m so happy to record that in my journal. Miracle. We went back two days later with Sis. Jensen (our host mom) and had one of the most entertaining lessons EVER!

Brenda is a martial artist and has an extreme passion and burning fire for defending helpless people. In order to tell us some background information about herself, she started telling us a story about how she saved someone’s life. She stood up and started doing all of these martial arts moves and screaming!! I struggled so hard not to laugh because it was just a tad akward…but it turned out to be a great lesson at the end. You never know what you’re going to expect when you teach people!

One of our members invited a friend to dinner with us there! If you haven’t had the opportunity to have the missionaries over for dinner, I highly suggest doing so! It blesses the lives of missionaries more than you can imagine and you will have the chance to serve, and touch a friend’s heart that you bring along.

Sis. Jensen was explaining people’s weaknesses in a really neat way that I’ve never heard before. She said that everyone in the world is in a boat. Sadly, everyone’s boat has a hole in it. Some have really apparent big holes; others have many small holes that they try to cover up. Some people will point and mock at other people’s holes because they are bigger than theirs. But in reality, we are all going to sink! Some people just sit and wallow in their boat saying “I’m going to drown and I can’t do anything about it!” While others are constantly bailing out the water trying to stay afloat. We can use the atonement to accept that we will all eventually sink, and that Heavenly Father knows we all have weaknesses. He knows that we all can’t stay afloat without Him. None of us are better than the other, and so we shouldn’t try to compare our weaknesses and strength to others!

We all need to remember the reality of Jesus Christ’s atonement for each one of us! We are all sinners, but we are all SO IMPORTANT to our Heavenly Father. I’ve learned that everyday more and more! I’m so grateful for this opportunity to be a sister missionary and to remind myself each day I put on my tag that I get this privilege to represent the most important person in the world….our and Redeemer and Savior Jesus Christ. This week marks my half way mark and I feel so blessed that Heavenly Father has helped me through this far. I Love everyday of my mission life. I loved everyday before my mission too, but I just feel so thankful to have been changed so much more into a happier and more teachable person. I love my Savior Jesus so much!! I love my Heavenly Father who sent me to the best situation possible. I know he loves each one of you the same as he loves his prophets! And I say these things in the name of Jesus Christ, AMEN!

Sister Tobias

Articles of News

Honduras Temple Dedicated (Read Story)

Mormons and China Website (Read Story)

Family History Courses (Read Story)

Nauvoo Exodus (Read Story)

This is not a flash mob, but it is kinda creepy (Read Story)

Mormon owned soccer team (Read Story)

LDS Bible Video Series (Read Story)

Cousins to the same mission (Read Story)

First Presidency to the Pope (Read Story)

Baptisms for the dead in St. Paul’s Cathedral?  (Read Story)

Here is the link to the full story

I think it’s a wide-known fact that when LDS missionaries come home from over a year of serving the transition between mission and home life can be somewhat jarring. It’s interesting to think there is an MTC to condition these young men and women to go into the mission field, but there’s no training for them to be able to readjust to home life.

As a recently engaged woman, I know how antsy I was about my engagement. I asked my now-fiance` for two weeks, and eventually planned on flash mobbing him with a proposal. I figured maybe this would give him the courage to ask me later.  However, the difference between my fiance` and the young man in the video is that he has been back from his mission for almost three years – and beat me to the punch.

If you are waiting for a missionary, give them some time to breathe when they get home. Even if you keep in contact over mail throughout their mission, a letter is not the same as spending quality time with that person. Can you imagine if this young lady flash mobbed her missionary and he said no? She would have been crushed, feeling like the last two years of her life were a waste. My fiance`was so nervous about coming home from his mission he threw up when he thought about adjusting to home life. I can’t imagine what he would have been like if he came home to an immediate proposal.

This is why I think a missionary’s focus should be primarily on their mission. I don’t have anything against waiting for a missionary. In fact, there’s a concrete way for missionary’s to know if their significant other will wait for them. Go to the temple grounds, say a prayer, and walk around the temple seven times clockwise. Afterwards, if the statue of Moroni turns and gives you the thumbs up, they’ll wait for you.

I like to think of it this way: If you truly believe you will marry your missionary, you will be sealed in the house of the Lord for time and all eternity. The people that will be touched spiritually by your missionary only get him or her for 24 or 18 months, and then they’re gone. Especially in foreign missions, chances are your missionary will never see those people again, and you get them forever.

Obviously this isn’t true in all cases, and waiting for a missionary can be a growing and loving experience –  but give your missionary some time to readjust before asking the big question, because you might find out that they’re not the person you want to spend eternity with. And as my parents always told me, forever is a VERY long time to spend with the wrong person, but it’s not long enough to spend it with the right one.

Some people are in awful big hurry….

Oquirrh Mountain Temple

I hope you won’t think less of me but I really dislike service. I’ve served hard time at the cannery, D.I., church orchard, bishop’s storehouse and Temple Square. I’ve painted, weeded, cleaned, set up chairs, taken down chairs, babysat kids during enrichment night and cleaned up after ward parties. I’ve moved more furniture for more old ladies than I care to count. I’ve done all these things and more.  And you know what? I’ve hated every minute of it.

I know, I know. I’m supposed to like service, or at least be able to find joy in it. I can’t. There’s something hard wired within me to despise all forms of work, no matter how noble or necessary. You can’t just slap the ‘service’ label on plain, dirty old work and expect me to all of a sudden be OK with it. It’s still work no matter what you call it. A turd by any other name…

Having said all that, I can’t believe what I’m about to write: If you haven’t had a chance to clean the temple I highly recommend you do it! Of all the service I’ve ever done in my life this is BY FAR the most rewarding and enjoyable.  Last week was my third time doing it and I’m thinking of volunteering to do it again.

For those of you that have never done it let me give you a quick rundown. You show up at your local temple at 9:30 PM and they let you in the back door. Then you head down to the baptistry and wait in the chapel. Once all the fellow volunteers arrive you are given some white scrubs to change into. These are your work clothes. Then the full time workers give out the cleaning assignments (sometimes you get to volunteer for specific assignments. 2 out of the 3 times I’ve been able to volunteer for what I wanted).

As far as I’ve been able to gather the following assignments can be given out: bathroom duty, cleaning the font (!), vacuuming, dusting, cleaning the art, polishing the drinking fountains and door knobs, trash duty (my personal favorite), mopping, moving furniture, cleaning the crystals on the chandelier in the celestial room, and so on. Sometimes you find yourself doing several things in one night. Last time I went I ended up polishing furniture, vacuuming carpet and mopping.

After all the cleaning is done (usually around 11:45 PM) the workers allow you 15 to 20 minutes to wander around the temple by yourself. If a door isn’t locked you are free to go there. Want to see the oxen at the bottom of the font up close? You can do that. Care to see how the laundry works? That can be arranged. Want to spend 20 minutes in the celestial room, uninterrupted? No problem.  Anxious to sit and ponder in the sealing rooms? You bet. This ‘free’ time is really worth the price of admission. Last week I chose to spend time in the Terrestrial room. I was the only person in there. To be able to pray and meditate in solitude in the temple was incredible.

You may be thinking that all this sounds like a lot of work for very little payoff. You couldn’t be more wrong. There is a big difference between being in the temple during working hours and being in the temple for cleaning. When you are in the temple during business hours it is very controlled and structured. It’s nice, to be sure, but you are on a tight schedule.  In contrast, when you are cleaning the temple it doesn’t seem as structured. You do have a job to accomplish but you are free to do it however you want. You can go at your own pace and in whatever order you like. More importantly, you can see much of the temple that you otherwise wouldn’t on a regular visit.

So that’s my plug for cleaning the temple. Don’t worry, I’m not getting paid by the church to write this. This is all of my own free will. I just wanted my fellow saints to know that there is a wonderful service opportunity available if you want to take it. Which reminds me, before I left the temple last time I asked the worker if I could volunteer to clean even if my stake didn’t have the assignment. She assured me anyone could volunteer, as long as they had a current recommend. And here’s the kicker: she said you could show up at ANY temple on any given night* at 9:30 PM and they’ll let you help clean. How cool is that?

*You may want to call ahead to make sure they are cleaning on whatever night you want to go. The worker said that some Saturdays they don’t clean and on Mondays they clean during the day.

The whole dress vs. pants thing has probably played out by now, but I had an experience that made me do a double-take about what we wear to church…

Last week I had the opportunity (and obligation) to go on a youth Temple trip. I haven’t been on one in a few years, so I was excited to go.

I showed up at the church and noticed one of the young men leaders arrive in a maroon shirt and tie. Growing up in Utah, I thought this was a bit strange for going to the temple. When I was in Young Women’s in Utah I had been told stories from leaders about people being turned away from the Temple for not being dressed appropriately to enter.

Not one to avoid confrontation, and I have learned not to be one to skirt around an issue, I approached him and asked him about his lack of a white shirt. He told me that he’s gone to the Temple often in a colored shirt and has never been turned away. He told me that the standard he understood for going to the Temple is “Sunday Dress”. Since guys can wear colored shirts to church, it’s alright to wear one to the Temple.

We went to the Temple, and there was no problem with him going in. In fact, it was everything a youth Temple trip should be- it was perfectly inspiring.

In truth, I’ve always thought that if you do your best to get to the Temple, and look your best, you should be able to go in.

But this did get me thinking…

Pants to the Temple? Maybe not a big deal.

But when you consider that the Church okaying pants to Church, did you also realize they’d be okaying pants to the Temple?

Does that change your opinion on pants?

*Also I’m not looking to pick a fight with those of you who have an issue with pants to church that goes deeper than the pants. I am just talking about pants. To Church. And the Temple.

HELLO MISSION FRIENDS!!!

Today I am writing my update to thank my Mother for teaching me how to Open My Mouth!!   All of her years in Politics paid off… We had some sweet experiences with strangers as we asked inspired questions that lead to discussions!  So I’m going to tell you about those.

There was a lady at $1.00 Jewelery Store that we were at on a P-day.  As we paid for my cute new earrings, I handed her a Mormon.org card and told her about all of the really neat videos on it and asked her if she would check it out. She said, “Oh!  Are you Mormon?  I’ve been wanting to know about the church. My grandpa was mormon and lived in Utah!”  I thought I was going to faint!  OUt of all of the 100′s of cards I’ve passed out, nobody says something like that!!!!  So we got talking about Family History and how there is a family history center in Davenport.  She was Super excited!  So we gave her a BOM.  THe next week we came by she immediately said, “MY DAUGHTER LOVES THAT BOOK YOU GAVE ME!!! CAN WE GET ANOTHER ONE!!!” Here, Take two!! And a pamphlet!  The sad thing is…she’s like an hour outside our area.  So we referred her to the other Elders…  BUT STILL!!! IT WAS SUPER NEAT!!!!

Then!! We went to the store to get groceries at Aldis.  (Super neat store I wish they had in Utah!).  They had an imported Chocolate section that I went to go look at.  So while I was there, there was a man there looking at the chocolate.  I asked him, “Are these from a different country?”  He said (In a sweet Accent) “Yes they are very good.”  “Wait a second…are YOU from a different country??!”  He was!  So we started talking and he looks at our name tags with this mesmerized look on his face.  So I said, “Have you ever seen these tags before? We’re missionaries!!”  Anyways…He was soooo excited.  He’s from Syria, and He’s Christian!!  Really rare.  He wasn’t in our area…so we referred him to another set of Elders.  He came to church and accepted a baptismal invite.

THEN!  The spirit told us to walk up to a random old couple in HYVEE.  I was like, “Hey, we can’t do that right now.  We have an appointment we’ll be late to.”  But the spirit’s like, “It’s gonna be okay! Just go talk to them.” I’ve always wanted to do a baptismal invite on the first contact with someone, and we did on Saturday night after 20 mins of talking with a couple! It was so fun! The husband had a daughter who was Mormon, and a Mother who was Mormon too!  And he’d always wanted to read the BOM!!!! They loved us and want to take us out to dinner.
I am just taking advantage of doing those kinds of moments while I’ve got the magic nametag!

We went to the Tapscott’s church yesterday that they usually go to so that we can try and see what they like about their church that’s not in ours.  I learned that their church is beautiful (Apiscopalian) and the spirit was there….but I just love how the Gospel of the Church of Jesus Christ of LDS teaches us what we need to do to FOLLOW Jesus Christ.  Other Churches know how to praise him, but we know how to access the atonement and it’s SUCH a blessing!!   Rand came to 6 hours of church after he attended his and ours…then went back to his for another hour!!

Angie and Brighid let 2 Priesthood holders come over to administer a blessing of health and comfort to them.  She hasn’t been in remission from Chrones disease for 12 years. We know that the blessing will help.

So, I told Heavenly Father…I might not be the best teacher in the world, But if you put people in front of me, I will talk to them. He’s definitely helping me fulfill that. D&C 33:8-9. Open YOUR MOUTH! It will be filled.  I know that the Book of Mormon is the best book to read if you want to develop Christlike attributes and grow closer to Heavenly Father.  I’m so thankful that I get these oppurtunities to enter into people’s homes and bare my testimony of how much I love the Savior.  I’m so thankful that I can get away with asking people to be baptised within the first 20 minutest of knowing them and not get shot!!   And I’m so thankful to be healthy and receive so many prayers of faith from my family members and friends!  Thanks for everything you do for me!!
And I say these things humbly and gratefully in the name of Jesus Christ, Amen!

Sister Tobias

Articles of News

Blog of girl killed in Newtown Connecticut (Read Story)

The Story we shouldn’t have even mentioned (Read Story)

How to convert to Mormonism (Read Story)

The Jodi Arias Plot thickens (Read Story)

LDS Leader backs Obama (Read Story)

Lone peak basketball stars (Read Story)

Survivor Update (Read Story)

Combating a mass exodus from the church (Read Story)

Skulls near a church in Brazil (Read Story)

Python Hunters! (Read Story)

Pop culture mocking the LDS Church (Read Story)

80,000 Missionaries Strong (Read Story)

30 Years of the Church in Haiti (Read Story)

Mixing the gospel music with some Twang (Read Story)

Mormon chapel in the Middle East (Read Story)

High ranking Mormon from Camarillo (Read Story)

I always wanted to do this. But I never did…Props to this guy.

“I almost forgot to tell you!  Next week, we are going to Las Vegas and Disneyland!”

“Oh, that’s wonderful!  Just the two of you?”

“Yep!”

“That sounds like so much fun!  Are you staying in the same hotel room?”

“Oh – yeah!  Don’t worry,  I’m still entirely temple worthy and will stay that way.”

“Isn’t it hard to…ya know…not…ya know?”

“Not really.  When you are 34 and 32, resisting temptation is the norm, not giving into it. I have waited 32 years and I’m sure as heck not going to throw that all away now.  Or, I could just go down in a blaze of glory and make some money while I’m at it.  That’s what I’ll do!  I’ll make a tape and sell it!  But don’t worry, Mom, I’ll make you a copy.”

“LARISSA!  You snot. *gigglegiggle*”

Thus goes my joking with my mother about her worries.  You see, to me, the thought of breaking the law of chastity is as preposterous as it would be to my mother to make a “tape.”

I’ve never thought sleeping in the same room with someone of the opposite gender is a big deal.  Maybe I’ve traveled in large groups too often.  Maybe I am too naive.

Yes, I went to BYU.  I adhered to The Honor Code with an iron fist and demanded the same of my peers.  Frustration always set in when I was with a study group, the clock hit midnight, and we had to conclude, but the rules are the rules…until someone has an open office you can pull an all-nighter in.

I have always understood the extreme importance of adolescents adhering to strict rules that enable them to develop a habit of certain behaviors.  Because of those very rules, I am proud to say I am a 32-year old virgin in every sense of the word and have been worthy to enter the Lord’s temple every single day of my life.  This is my choice.  If I had wanted to choose differently, you better believe I would have.

There comes a point in every person’s life when you have to sit and evaluate what is truly most important to you.  For me, that is worthiness in front of my Lord – no matter what I religiously agree or don’t agree with.

Speaking of what is most important to me, consider this scenario:

• You are 32-years old.  You live in a condo alone.
• Your significant other of almost a year is 34-years old and also lives in a condo alone.
• You have never toyed with breaking the law of chastity – you have clear boundaries and the lines are not crossed.
• You can spend $1,000 on hotel rooms to go on a fun vacation together, or you can spend $500 on one room to go on vacation together.
• You will be gone from 8am – 11pm or midnight every single day…only in the hotel to sleep.

What was most important to me in this scenario was saving $500. I hear-tell this may make some of you nervous.  And if it does, don’t do it!  Simple as that.

If I were to lose my temple-worthy status, why would I wait for some strange hotel room in a strange city when both of us live alone in our own comfortable condos?  Know what I’m saying?

I caused some confusion and panic amongst my friends by posting photos on Facebook referring to “our” suite.  Honestly, I didn’t even think about it.  Some innocently thought I had secretly gotten married.  Some feared for my integrity.  Most know me well enough to not even think twice about it.

I can think of several occasions in my adult life where grown men have slept in my home.  I have no family here in Utah, which means I’ve had to endure some devastating situations utterly alone.  On those nights, a dear, brotherly friend of mine came to my rescue and held me while I sobbed myself to sleep.  Another time, a friend left a doctor’s appointment quite looped-up and stopped by my house, whereupon I practically forced him to stay – no one should be driving in that condition.  Call me crazy, but I struggle to see the difference between falling asleep with someone of the opposite gender in the room at 2pm versus 2am.  Another time, the only choice I had was to pay another $800 for my own room in New York after a 37-mile walk, or share a room with my sister and her husband.  So, she was the peanut butter in the middle of a huge, king-sized bed.  Awkward, I know, but I didn’t care about awkward after a 37-mile walk.

There are certain times in the cost-benefit analysis of “the appearance of evil,” when the “appearance” is the last thing on my mind. What is the appearance of evil in LDS culture, anyway?

Holding a coffee cup that is actually filled with hot chocolate?

Being seen at a bar when you are actually picking up an inebriated friend?

Purchasing wine that is actually for cooking?

Wearing a sleeveless dress in a photo when the dress is actually a costume for theater?

Staying in the same hotel room as someone of the opposite gender?

Are we perpetuating open-judging based on the principle to “appearance of evil”?  Didn’t Christ teach in Matthew 7:1, “Judge not, that ye be not judged“?

I strongly support and enforce not placing yourself in temptation’s way.  As Richie himself has said, “If there is no gun in the house, then no one gets shot.”  But what if you are not tempted?  If you are on a diet, would you walk into a chocolate shop?  Well, sure, if chocolate isn’t a temptation for you.  Before you think I don’t want the proverbial “chocolate” for which I’ve waited 32 years, believe you me, I want that chocolate! I just don’t let that craving control me.

I honestly did not think anything of the hotel situation until the fussings/whisperings of a select few.   I didn’t realize that hotel room = premarital sex…that is entirely foreign to my world.  I understand that if the very adolescents who need these rules see me breaking them, then last week I was not the best example for them.  For that, I am terribly sorry.  I wasn’t thinking.  For those of you who are chocoholics and can’t walk into the chocolate shop while on a diet, I am also sorry.

In the LDS culture, we have many adolescent rules that form us into adult decision-makers.  We are also accustomed to a culture where “single” and “30+” have rarely been in the same sentence.  Most LDS adults can only remember the struggles they had resisting temptation as a young adult or youth, then were married before they had to endure my years of resistance training.  Another small portion of adults remember how they “gave in” as a youth and the resulting struggles.  I’d venture a guess that folks like me are in the 1%.

You can look at it this way: the rules are your gymnastics coach.  When you are first learning your back tuck, you need your coach to spot you, otherwise you will hurt yourself badly. You need the rules for foundation on each move and constant guidance.  Eventually, however, you are flying high with no assistance and no fear of hurting yourself.

In the end, I am acutely aware of what I’m not doing and the Lord is equally as aware of what I’m not doing.  I truly believe that bit of knowledge is all that matters.  I had zero idea this was such an edgy topic until I posted a photo, then Articles of News 3.4.2013 aired.  I understand this is far from the right decision for some, however, I wish strangers trusted me as much as my friends, family, and Heavenly Father trust me.  If I fall, you can tell me, “I told you so.”  Actually, you can’t.  Why?  Because there is no “if.”  I am a proud virgin until I am sealed to my eternal companion.  Trust me on this one.