Skip to main content

 

9EDA5a1448344354

Turkey day is on its way. Here are 10 ways to add a little oomph to your feast, Mormon-style.

  1. If you’re in charge of the bird, why not impress the frick out of your guests with a Bacon-Wrapped Turkey? I used this recipe one year, and it was the best Thanksgiving turkey ever. The secret is ample laying on of hands to administer the bacon-herb butter under the skin. (Use a glove.) You’ll take one bite and un-ironically be thankful for the moisture. (Bonus: Do you just hack away when you carve your turkey? Here’s a simple tutorial on carving the right way. Greater light and knowledge. You’re welcome.)
  2. The hardest part of meal coordination, for me, is having everything ready at the same time. Some dishes just can’t be made ahead. Take a little bit of pressure off yourself and try cooking your Mashed Potatoes in the Crockpot. And remember, mashers are good, mixers are bad. Too much beating makes potatoes gluey enough to make “I Am Thankful For” construction paper turkeys in Sunbeam class. (Bonus: If you, like me, think mashed potatoes are the actual main event, you might consider turning them into Loaded Garlic Ranch Mashed Potatoes. No guarantee you won’t feel the need to repent.)
  3. Cooking the stuffing in the bird has gone the way of the roadshow. If you want stunning stuffing, try Bundt Pan Stuffing. Make that herby, bready goodness look as good as it tastes so that you may avoid the appearance of evil.
  4. If you’re one of those who likes their turkey dinner “Baptism by Immersion” style, your meal is only as good as your gravy. Don’t be intimidated by the gravy! Here’s a simple, step-by-step recipe that will leave you feeling born again.
  5. Rolls is rolls, and I love them all. What makes all delicious rolls even better? Garnishing them unceasingly with Whipped Cinnamon Pumpkin Honey Butter.
  6. Not a fan of sweet potatoes? There’s still a right way to live and be happy. Spice things up with Cinnamon Pecan Roasted Butternut Squash. Once you try it, you’ll realize that marshmallows are Mammon. Who will you serve? (Answer: a room full of delighted loved ones.)
  7. Man cannot live on artery-clogging fare alone. If you’re hoping not to be so heavy-laden this holiday, lighten it up with this delicious Apple Cranberry Walnut Salad. By your fruits they shall know you. And love you.
  8. A side of carrots might not seem like much, but Honey Glazed Carrots are carrots that have attained their highest degree of glory. They are, indeed, divine.
  9. Pumpkin pie truly makes me love Gourd with all my might, mind, and strength. And while pumpkin may not be the giver of every good gift, every gift it gives is good. Why not upgrade to a Pumpkin Cheesecake this year? (Save walking without fainting for next year.)
  10. By the end of Thanksgiving day you’ll feel like you never want to eat again. But that feeling, too, shall pass, and by Friday you’ll be ready to cast your pearly left-overs before your hungry little snouts. Forget shopping; spend the day with this Thanksgiving Leftovers Stromboli, and you’ll wonder why you didn’t just make it for Thanksgiving dinner in the first place.

Don’t forget, amidst all your face-stuffing, to count your many blessings, and name them one by one. If you take these suggestions, you should have no problem coming up with the first ten.

Leave a Reply